The Perfectionism Epidemic

I first heard the term “perfectionism” when I was 16. My teacher referred to it as a potential answer to the job interview question: “What is your biggest weakness?” Little did she realise that it was true for many students in the class who had spent the last 12 years in a school serving detentions for crossing things out or using an ink eraser in their school books.

From the age of seven, I was indoctrinated to believe that perfection was the only standard and that anything less was not only disgraceful but deserved punishment. Once a week, we were made to demonstrate that our skirts reached our ankles. Our hemlines had to cover our knees at all times, but they couldn’t be too long either, as it made a girl look “messy.” Our hair ties could only be brown, black, or red, and our heels were measured against a ruler anytime a teacher got a sweeping suspicion the wedge was too high.

Perfectionism isn’t some complimentary flaw to boast about at job interviews or to your friends; real, chronic perfectionism is debilitating and life-threatening.

These aren’t reflections of a ’50s school system: I’m a woman in my mid-twenties. This was my reality ten years ago. It helped shaped me into a perfectionist—and that perfectionism nearly killed me.

For four years, I struggled with extreme life-threatening anorexia and exercise bulimia for three more. Even with the blissful opportunity to type and delete at will, I still delayed writing my master’s dissertation until each sentence was word-perfect in my head.

Perfectionism isn’t some complimentary flaw to boast about at job interviews or with friends. Real, chronic perfectionism is debilitating and life-threatening.

The Roots of Perfectionism

My case is not an anomaly. According to Katie Rasmussen, a researcher of child development and perfectionism at West Virginia University, “As many as two in five kids and adolescents are perfectionists. We’re discussing how it’s heading toward an epidemic and public health issue.”

Perfectionism is a complex psychological problem. In a recent study, researchers Thomas Curran and Andrew P. Hill defined it as a “combination of excessively high personal standards and overly critical self-evaluations.” There are three main types: self-oriented, other-oriented, and socially prescribed.

Self-oriented perfectionism is the most established and recognizable form, albeit the most complex. It is associated with anorexia nervosa, clinical depression, and early death. The term defines those whose perfectionist beliefs and behaviours are directed inward. They tend to measure themselves against unrealistic expectations and are overly self-critical of their perceived inadequacies.

Perfectionists often have low self-esteem, which may result from childhood traumas such as hypercritical parenting or emotional abuse. They seek their value from their social contexts. Socially prescribed perfectionists perceive others as judging them harshly and seek approval through displays of perfectionism. Alternatively, other-oriented perfectionism involves individuals imposing unrealistic expectations on those around them.

Studies have shown that the stronger the perfectionist tendencies of an individual, the more psychological disorders they may suffer from. The laundry list of associated clinical issues includes depression and anxiety, self-harm, social anxiety disorder and agoraphobia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, binge eating, anorexia, bulimia, post-traumatic stress disorder, insomnia, hoarding, chronic fatigue syndrome, dyspepsia, chronic headaches, and even early mortality and suicide.

Perfectionism at its core is less a drive to be supreme, and more a defensive approach to avoiding failure.

Revered artists throughout history have been known to destroy their work in frustration in bouts of self-defeating perfectionism. Impressionist landscape painter Claude Monet once declared, “My life has been nothing but a failure, and all that’s left for me to do is to destroy my paintings before I disappear.”

At least Monet didn’t have to deal with Instagram envy. Younger generations today feel pressure to keep up with the picture-perfect lifestyles presented online and frequently become overwhelmed with a sense of inferiority.

We Can’t Blame Social Media

However, putting all the blame on social media is too simplistic. We can’t blame social media for increased exam anxiety, fanaticism over grades, and work-related illnesses. Every exam, meeting, pitch, and essay symbolizes an opportunity to fail in the eyes of a perfectionist, and life-threatening anxiety results from increased standards. At its core, perfectionism is less a drive to be supreme and more a defensive approach to avoiding failure. And the margin between failure and success has become microscopic over the past three decades.

In 1992, the U.K. government attempted to nationalize school inspections and ensure that all U.K. schools met high standards. While well-intentioned, the pressure this effort put on schools and teachers negatively impacted students' mental health from extremely young ages.

Curran, the University of Bath researcher who recently authored a report on perfectionism published in the Psychological Bulletin, claims that neoliberalism is to blame. It created “a marketized form of competition [that] has pushed young people to focus on their achievements,” he told the Guardian. On top of institutional pressures, rising income inequality across the Western world has also contributed to a rise of individualistic, materialistic, socially antagonistic, and meritocratic cultures—particularly in the United States, United Kingdom, and Canada.

We live in a society where failure is seen as a weakness, and anything less than perfect is seen as a failure. We’ve gotten to a point where we’re too afraid to even try for fear of exposing our vulnerabilities. Yet the stress and pressure we put on ourselves in our daily lives, from our picture-perfect Instagram snaps to our grades, employment status, qualifications, makeup, family appearance, and clothing, makes us physically and mentally unwell.

If we were to stop diverting our energies into our anxieties and obsessive need for perfectionism, we would find our productivity and proficiency increase. If we focused on what we could learn from an experience rather than concentrating on failure, we could recalibrate our responses to stressful circumstances. We could engage with them as moments of opportunity instead of defeats.

To Overcome a Perfectionist Drive, Aim for 80 Percent

This is controversial, I know. Your parents, teachers, internet idols, and life coaches have told you: “Give everything you do in life 100 per cent.” Giving 100 per cent is a wonderful concept in theory. We love and admire those who bring passion to everything they do. The reality, though, is that 100 per cent isn’t sustainable—or necessary in many situations.

Giving 100 percent should be saved for those special passion projects or those most treasured people in your life. If you give 100 per cent to everything and everyone around you, your output's quality will decrease. You’ll become burnt out, exhausted, and resentful. Not only is it 100 per cent unrealistic, it doesn’t allow room for learning. Getting 80 per cent always puts you in the higher tiers of anything in life; it’s not perfect, but still outstanding. By striving for 80 per cent, you allow room for perseverance, flexibility, and diligence, uncorrupted by the fear of failure (imperfection).

Perfectionists are masterful procrastinators because postponing projects means there’s a 100 percent chance of not failing.

Being 80 per cent effective is more significant than the paralysis that usually intercepts the 100 per cent ambition. Done is better than incomplete or, worse, never started. Perfectionists are masterful procrastinators because postponing projects means there’s a 100-percent chance of not failing. We can’t fail at the tasks we never start. Yet at what price? Procrastination leads to harmful mental health issues such as depression, irrational behaviour, low self-esteem, and anxiety.

The only thing stopping perfectionists from starting is that they don’t realise failure isn’t the opposite of success but part of it. No one can learn without making mistakes, and no project, skill, or relationship can grow without learning. We’re not supposed to be perfect the first time, but because we wrongly believe we should be, we hold ourselves back from trying.

We’re scared to let go of our perfectionism—it means risking the meticulousness, dedication, and work ethic the trait so convincingly promises. But we know that we have rarely delivered on our promises. If we were truthful, we’d admit that our perfectionism has resulted in more abandonment and less productiveness than we’d care to admit.

Perfection is mythological, and giving 100 percent is always impossible and damaging. Allowing for imperfection is liberating and lifesaving. Living a life of beating ourselves up and chasing the lights of glittering expectations laid out by society is exhausting and defeating. Spend life comparing yourself not to others, but to who you were yesterday and the day before. Strive each day to build upon the foundations of self you left behind the day before.